Prayer is a deeply personal journey, a unique connection between you and God. Yet, many people feel anxious about whether they are praying in the “right way.”
You wouldn’t believe the number of people I encountered as a Christian minister who worried themselves sick or stayed awake at night, concerned that they weren’t praying properly or that God did not hear because they were doing things “correctly.”
Whether you’re new to faith or growing in it, it’s natural to wonder — am I doing this right? Are there certain rules to follow, or is prayer simply speaking from the heart?
The beautiful thing about Christian prayer is that while there are gentle guidelines, at its core, it’s more about relationship than routine.
Let’s dive into what that really means...
When Jesus’ disciples asked Him how they should pray, He didn’t respond with a long list of dos and don’ts. Instead, He gave them what we have come to call “The Lord’s Prayer” — a straightforward yet profoundly rich model for connecting with God.
This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven… (Matthew 6.9–10)
Think about how it begins: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” Right from the start, Jesus sets the tone for prayer as relational.
We’re invited to come to God not as a distant figure but as a Father who cares for us deeply. Yet, even in this closeness, there’s reverence — recognising God’s holiness and majesty.
It’s like a child running to their father — filled with love, excitement, and deep respect. That’s the heart of the Lord’s Prayer.
It draws us into both intimacy and awe. As the prayer continues, the focus shifts from personal needs to God’s will being done.
Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. (Matthew 6.11–13)
This is a gentle reminder that prayer isn’t a wish list or a formula for getting what we want; it’s a conversation where we align our hearts with God’s purposes.
But what happens when we don’t know what to say? Some of the most powerful prayers are the simplest ones.
In Luke 18, Jesus shares a story of two men praying. One is a Pharisee who prays loudly and proudly, thanking God that he’s not like “those other people.”
The other is a humble tax collector, standing far off, who simply prays, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
And Jesus tells us that the tax collector goes home right with God, not the Pharisee. Why? Because his prayer was real. It wasn’t polished or showy — it was honest and humble.
This story shows us a key truth about prayer: it’s not about the length of your prayer or finding the perfect words. It’s about the state of your heart. God values sincerity far more than eloquence.
And here’s a comforting thought: God still hears us even when we can’t find the words. Romans 8:26 reminds us that:
The Spirit helps us with our weaknesses. We don’t know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans too deep for words.
So when you feel overwhelmed, lost for words, or unsure how to express your heart, know that the Holy Spirit is helping you.
Prayer is also an act of faith. Take Hannah from the Old Testament. She longed for a child and prayed with deep, unwavering faith. Even though her prayers weren’t answered right away, she didn’t lose hope. Eventually, she gave birth to Samuel, who became a great prophet. Hannah’s story reminds us that prayer isn’t just about asking — it’s about trusting that God is at work, even when we can’t see it yet.
But having faith in prayer doesn’t mean we’ll always get exactly what we ask for. It means trusting that God’s will is perfect. 1 John 5:14 reassures us:
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
It’s natural to bring our personal needs to God — whether for healing, guidance, or provision — but Christian prayer goes beyond that. It’s about surrendering to God’s perfect plan, trusting that He knows best, even when His answer doesn’t match our expectations.
Let’s not forget the importance of gratitude in prayer. In Philippians 4:6, Paul encourages us not to be anxious but to present our requests to God with thanksgiving. Gratitude shifts our perspective. It reminds us that, even in uncertain times, God is faithful.
Sometimes, the answer to prayer is finding peace in God’s presence, even when we don’t get the answer we were hoping for.
Prayer isn’t just about our own needs, either. It’s about standing in the gap for others. Moses did this when he interceded for the Israelites, and Paul constantly lifted up the early churches in prayer.
When we pray for others, we partner with God in the work He’s doing in their lives. It’s a beautiful reminder that we can be part of something much bigger than ourselves through prayer.
So, is there a “right” way to pray? Yes and no.
Yes, because prayer should come from a place of sincerity, humility, faith, and a desire for God’s will. But no, because no formula or magic words guarantee God will act in the way that we hope.
At its heart, prayer is about a relationship. It’s a conversation with a loving Father who longs to hear from you — whether you’re overflowing with joy or weighed down with sorrow.
Ultimately, the “right” way to pray is simply to start.
Speak from your heart, be honest, and trust that God is listening. He’s far less concerned with how perfectly we pray and more interested in why we pray. So whether your prayers are long or short, eloquent or simple, know this: they matter because YOU matter to God.
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